This series features my frank confessions of life. An ostrich digs its face in ground when it faces a danger. I find myself no different from an ostrich who tended to ignore the daring question that life raised again and again from time to time. I tried my best to sustain the ostrich within me whenever I faced one of those bouts. But the few glimpses that I caught out of curiosity were sufficient to change the entire direction of my life. Read on the Confessions of an Ostrich…

Part 1

I woke up in the night and found myself sweating profusely. I felt like being choked. My mind felt all blank in fear. It was again one of those bouts I recall having since my early childhood. The same fundamental question engulfed my mind – Is this all going to end?

So I shall die one day. My parents, my relatives, my friends all are going to die. And when I die, it will all be blank. Even the peace I have during a deep sleep will not be there. Because, I shall no more wake up to discover whether the sleep was peaceful or not.

The oldest person I have ever heard of is around 156 years old. Even if I assume mythologies to be true, I could be several thousand years old but still I have to die. And if I live that long, it would mean, all my dearest ones will leave me forever much before. So either ways I am cursed.

All the rest of my plans and their accomplishments are uncertain. The only certain thing is death. No one ever escaped it and I cannot be an exception. Suddenly I felt as if everything and everyone around me is already dead. It’s all so meaningless. The whole concept of life and living is so meaningless. Regardless of every success and failure I have in life, regardless of the number of friends and enemies I make, regardless of the amount of fame or disgrace I acquire, it’s all going to end in the same manner as it will end and as it has ended for all others.

Nothing else matters. Be a success, be a failure – it’s all very temporary. Scientists say that the universe is 14 billion years old. Sun is a middle-aged star. And yet it is 4.5 billion years old. Earth is almost as old. A human life of 100 years is insignificant compared to that. If we assume the entire universe to be as big earth, the size of earth is no more than a pencil dot. That defines the magnitude of domain of human influence.

Thus in the entire scheme of things, I am no more important than one of the tiny microbes on entire planet. Nothing is in my control – I had no choice over my birth and I will have no choice whatsoever over my cold fast-approaching death. Emotions, feelings, memories – nothing matters at all. They all would evaporate into nothing, as and when I evaporate into nothing under the grip of death. Nothing is more certain than this.

I recalled a faint childhood memory. I was around four or five years old. In the night, while I was sleeping with my mother, I asked her, “Mummy, will I die one day?” She had no clear reply. She said, “No, nothing will happen to you. Go to sleep now. You have school tomorrow.” I again asked, “Does everyone who takes birth die? Will grandma, grandfather, you, papa also die?” She said, “You should not talk like this about your elders. You should respect them. Now go to sleep.”

I did not ask anything more. But I was far from satisfied. This was my first experience of this bout that I can recollect. Next day, I asked papa, “Papa, how long will I live. Please see my hand.” He smiled and brought my palm closer. He pretended to analyze it carefully and replied, “You will live for 102 years. Don’t worry!” I shot back, “That means I will die after 102 years. And will you, mummy, grandma, grandpa also live with me for 102 years?” He tried to deviate from the topic, “You should currently focus on your studies. This is your immediate priority. 102 years is very far off.” I was not convinced, “But that time will also necessarily come na. And then I will die.” He said, “If you study hard, you will never die.”

I almost forget that incident soon after. But it did make me a bright student though. After all, I had no other alternative to escape the brutal grip of death. Soon, I even forgot the reason, but got addiction of studying.

But now, I was having a much clear recall of this forgotten incident. I recalled that this is one question for which no satisfactory answer has yet been deciphered by me. And even if that reply of father made me a good student, it hardly matters. Because with death, everything and everyone shall end forever – including what I studied and learnt.

In a snapshot, my entire life came before me. The theme was my frantic search for solution to this most fundamental problem of escaping death. I recalled how this recurrent bout will suddenly open my eyes each time to a reality that I could not face or understand. And how it would make me even more frantic. (Cont…)

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  • If we the hindus do not know and practice our religion perfectly we can not change our fate. So let’s start to worship only one god “oum” and encourage minimum one hindu a day to follow correct hinduism which indicates only “oum” should be worshipped. If anyone analyse he can know that our fate bitrayed with us when we forgot veda and started worshipping idols. I guess this is why islam and cristianity spread over india because they don’t worship any idol. I belive if we start rejecting idol and worshipping our god “oum” than these two brutal relegion will be vanished from our indian sudcontinent. I have already started and hope you also starting soon.

  • Mughalistan (or Mughalstan) is the name of an independent homeland proposed for the Muslims of India. This Mughal-Muslim state in the Indian subcontinent will include all of North India and Eastern India, and will be formed by merging Pakistan and Bangladesh through a large corridor of land running across the Indo-Gangetic plain, the heartland of India. This Mughalistan corridor will comprise Muslim-majority areas of Northern India and eastern India that will be partitioned for the second time in history.
    The comprehensive plan for a second partition of India was first developed by the Mughalstan Research Institute (MRI) of Jahangir Nagar University (Bangladesh) under the patronage of the two intelligence agencies, Pakistan’s Inter Services Intelligence (ISI) and Bangladesh’s Director General of Forces Intelligence, DGFI. The “Mughalistan Reaserch Institute of Bangladesh” has released a map where a Muslim corridor named “Mughalistan” connects Pakistan and Bangladesh via India.
    The Pakistani Punjabi-dominated ISI’s influence on MRI is evident even in the Punjabi-centric pronunciation of the word ‘Mughalstan’ (without the “i”), instead of the typical Urdu pronunciation (Mughalistan). Islamic Jihadis in India have been well-armed and well-funded by the neighbouring Islamic regimes, as part of Operation Topac – the late Pakistani President Zia-ul-Haq’s grandiose plot to balkanize India.

    Not surprisingly, Osama Bin Laden has thrown his support behind the concept and creation of this Greater Pakistan to “liberate” the Muslims of India from the Hindus. The Mumbai underworld (led by Karachi-based don Dawood Ibrahim who executed the gruesome 1993 Mumbai bombings), Jamaat-e-Islami, Lashkar-e-Tayyaba, Jaish-e-Mohammad and Hizbul Mujahideen have declared their unified support for creating this undivided Islamic nation in the Indian subcontinent. The Students Islamic Movement of India (SIMI) and Indian Mujahideen are working in tandem with the aforementioned organizations to waged Jihad against the Hindus of India.

    It is important to note that in its “holy war” against India, the Lashkar-e-Tayyaba has openly declared Hindus to be the “enemies of Islam” who should all be converted or killed. The Lashkar-e-Tayyaba group has repeatedly claimed through its journals and websites that its main aim is to destroy the Indian republic and to annihilate Hinduism. Jaish-e-Mohammed has vowed to “liberate” not just Kashmir, but also to hoist the Islamic flag atop the historic Red Fort after capturing New Delhi and the rest of India.

    SIMI has championed the “liberation of India through Islam” and aim to restore the supremacy of Islam through the resurrection of the Khilafat (Islamic Caliphate), emphasis on the Muslim Ummah (Islamic) and the waging of Jihad on the Indian state, secularism, democracy and nationalism – the basic keystones of the Indian Constitution – as these concepts are antithetical to Islam. The Indian Mujahideen have sent several emails claiming responsibility for several bombings in Lucknow, Varanasi and Faizabad (in Uttar Pradesh), Bangalore, Jaipur, Ahmedabad and New Delhi in 2007 and 2008. The emails refer to notorious Islamic conquerors of India (Mohammed bin Qasim, Mohammad Ghauri and Mahmud Ghaznawi) as their role-models, refer to Hindu blood as “blood to be the cheapest of all mankind” and taunt Hindus that their “[Hindu] history is full of subjugation, humiliation, and insult [at the hands of Islamic conquerors]“.

    The Indian Mujahideen’s emails warn the Hindus to “Accept Islam and save yourselves” and or else face a horrible fate: – “Hindus! O disbelieving faithless Indians! Haven’t you still realized that the falsehood of your 33 crore dirty mud idols and the blasphemy of your deaf, dumb, mute and naked idols of ram, krishna and hanuman are not at all going to save your necks, Insha-Allah, from being slaughtered by our [Muslim] hands?”

  • PAPISTAN(Pakistan) BANNED 17 WEBSITES SPEAKING TRUTH ABOUT ISLAM.
    News……….News…………………..News………………………News………………..great News……

    PAPISTAN (PAKISTAN) GOVT DIRECT AUTHORITIES TO BLOCK 17 WEBSITES AND TO MONITOR 7 OTHER PORTALS AND BAN ACCESS TO LINKS WITH ANTI-ISLAMIC MATERIALS. THE INSTRUCTIONS WERE ISSUED TO THE PAKISTAN TELE-COM AUTHORITY AFTER AN INTER MINISTERIAL COMITTEE MET TO EVALUATE WEBSITES HAVING ANTI-ISLAMIC CONTENT. THE COMITTEE DECIDED TO COMPELETLY BLOCK 17 WEBSITES.IT ALSO decided THAT SEVEN OTHER WEBSITES INCLUDING GOOGLE,MSN,YAHOO,BING, AMAZON, YOUTUBE WOULD BE MONITORED AND LINKS ONTHEM WITH OFFENSIVE CONTENT WOUD BE BLOCKED WITHOUT DISTURBING THE MAIN PORTALS.
    IT IS DOUBTED THAT IRAN,AFGHAN, SAUDI ARAB AND MALASIYA HAVE BEEN CONSULTED AND THESE CONTRIES HAVE AGREED TO BAN ALL CRITICISM OF ISLAM.
    IT IS KNOWN THAT ISLAM THRU OUT HAD BEEN RESISTANT TO ANALYSIS AND ITS EXPOSURES IN HISTORY. iT HAS BEEN WEARY AND AFRAID OF CRITICISM OF ANY KIND. AFRAID OF LIGHT OF TRUTH.?
    SHABDIKA.

  • […] after just one or two rounds of Surya Namaskar (Sun Salutations). Most yoga practitioners do not …1 The BoutsI woke up in the night and found myself sweating profusely. I felt like being choked. My mind felt […]